Erich Fromm was a psychologist, psychoanalyst, and philosopher writing during the middle of the 20th century. One of his most influential concepts was his distinction between the having mode and the being mode. These modes describe orientations toward life, work, education, relationships, and the self.
Having Mode
The having mode describes an orientation toward life that prioritizes and values possession and acquisition. It’s an instrumentalist orientation in which one treats not only material goods, but also people, as means to an end. Fromm argued that the having mode is largely a product of our increasingly consumerist society, in which we are encouraged to accumulate wealth and power. It is through acquisition that we measure our success and self-worth.
From Fromm:
The nature of the having mode of existence follows from the nature of private property. In this mode of existence all that matters is my acquisition of property and my unlimited right to keep what I have acquired. The having mode excludes others; it does not require any further effort on my part to keep my property or to make productive use of it. The Buddha has described this mode of behavior as craving, the Jewish and Christian religions as coveting; it transforms everybody and everything into something ….. subject to another’s power
Examples of the Having Mode
- Measuring one’s self worth by how many degrees they have and from which institutions.
- Feeling a sense of ownership over their friends and romantic partners.
- Constantly comparing oneself to others in terms of beauty, perceived successes, etc.
Being Mode
The being mode, on the other hand, represents an approach to life that focuses on presence, process, and experience. For Fromm, the being mode is more authentic and more fulfilling, leading to healthier relationships, a sense of connection to the present moment, and a general ease of being.
From Fromm:
The anxiety and insecurity engendered by the danger of losing what one has are absent in the being mode. If I am who I am and not what I have, nobody can deprive me of or threaten my security and my sense of identity. My center is within myself; my capacity for being and for expressing my essential powers is part of my character structure and depends on me.
Examples of the Being Mode
- Defining vocational/professional success by how fulfilling one’s work is, how much work-life balance they have, and the relationships they cultivate through their work.
- Seeking deep connection in relationships in which one doesn’t feel the need to control or change the other, valuing mutual growth (I like the term inter-independent).
- Prioritizing the joy of the process over the results.
Relationship to Maslow
Fromm’s having mode and being mode align with Abraham Maslow’s framework of deficiency needs (D-needs) and being needs (B-needs).
Deficiency Needs (D-needs)
Deficiency-needs arise from a sense of deficiency. These include essential needs for survival like safety, food, shelter, love, and esteem. These are needs that must be met for one to feel safe and secure.
Being Needs (B-needs)
Being-needs, on the other hand, are needs motivated by the desire to grow, to become self-actualized, to connect with one’s work and others, to find meaning and purpose. Rather than addressing a deficiency, B-needs are about fulfilling one’s potential for its own sake. Both the being mode and B-needs are anti-instrumentalist in the sense that one pursues experiences, relationships, and wisdom for their own sake.